


constant

by spearbi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Introspection, it's just a character study bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 20:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spearbi/pseuds/spearbi
Summary: Jeongin always wakes up before the other members.





	constant

Jeongin always wakes up before the other members. Maybe that’s just how his internal body clock is, or perhaps his brain is still stuck in Busan. A lot of the time, it’s annoying, but on mornings like these, when the sky is clear and the smog is lighter, he’s thankful for it. 

Someone left the blinds open last night; now, the early morning light hits Jeongin square in the face. 

Squinting against the dim light, Jeongin untangles his legs from the comforter and sits up.

From across the room, Hyunjin mutters something indecipherable and turns over on his side, moving further into the blankets. Felix snores loudly in response from where he lies at the end of the room, feet barely covered by his own sheets. 

Jeongin rolls his eyes and slides out of his own bed as quietly as possible, feet narrowly missing an encounter with Felix’s hairbrush. 

Jeongin yawns silently and stretches his arms over his head, wincing as the joints crack. He’s been really tired lately. The promotions seem to be never ending, and while he loves performing, it does take a toll on his body. He’s even started to consider drinking coffee, despite the bitter and unappealing flavour. He’s such a grown-up. 

_I need a haircut,_ he thinks, pushing his bangs out of his face as he makes his way to the bathroom. He trusts the stylist noonas, but he’s had a difficult time seeing much lately. Mindful of the other members sleeping, Jeongin carefully opens and closes the bathroom door before twisting on the faucet. 

While he waits for the water to warm, he stares at his reflection in the mirror, fingers absentmindedly touching his ears. 

He feels different from the person he was not six months ago, but he doesn’t look different. His features are all the same- high cheekbones, narrow face, mop of dark hair- but Jeongin can’t help but feel as though he’s changed. 

And who wouldn’t, in circumstances like his? Humming under his breath, the youngest member squeezes some face wash into his hands rubs it into his face. He doesn’t wake up scared and anxious anymore, wondering if the day he’s awoken to will be the last he’ll see as a part of the group. He’s a little more self assured now, a little braver. 

He still needs the members to lean on, but he can stand on his own two feet now. Large crowds don’t intimidate him as much as they used to, and his family tells him that they’re so proud of him, tell him how much he’s improved, how he’s changed. 

_Maybe I have changed_ , Jeongin thinks, rubbing moisturizer into his skin, but it’s not visible on the outside. 

_The good changes happen from the inside out, right? Like- like chicks hatching, or flowers sprouting, or meat cooking. It all comes from the centre of something._  
Jeongin clips his bangs back with one of Seungmin’s polka dot hair clips and exits the bathroom, one hand pressed over his chest. 

Maybe it all starts in the heart, and the head. 

Quietly, he pads down the hallway and out towards the balcony. In the early morning, the dorm is the quietest and most peaceful it’ll be all day. Watery sunlight slides across the wooden floors, cut into strips by the half opened curtains. 

Dust motes float silently through the air, and Jeongin waves his hand through them, eyes still half lidded with sleep. 

There’s something illusionistic about the quiet, something fragile. Jeongin finds himself holding his breath as he pushes open the balcony door and quietly slides the screen door to the slide. 

It’s unseasonably chilly for June, and Jeongin finds himself rubbing his arms as he watches his breath curl up and out into the frosty air. 

There’s a single wooden chair sitting on the balcony. It’s one Jeongin is familiar with. Exhaling, he pads over to the chair and sits down in it, feet a little damp. Closing his eyes, he breathes in the air and exhales. 

Seoul is never quiet- there’s always car horns blaring, always people shouting- the dull thrum of the city is what fills Jeongin’s bones. His head, however, is full of the clear skies and starry nights of Busan, is full of crickets and waves lapping at the shore. 

He’s part of both, now. He’s not a country boy from the sticks anymore. He has changed, maybe more than he’s realized. In only a few short months, Jeongin’s whole life has changed. Sometimes, it’s a little overwhelming. 

_But there are constants,_ he thinks, arms propped up on the railing. _There's always going to be a sunrise and sunset, and a family that loves me._

_My hyungs are always going to be here._

The sun pulls up over Seoul, casting gold onto the skyscrapers and highways. 

Jeongin leans into the light, opens his eyes, and smiles.


End file.
